Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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