You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
