don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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