How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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