Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize