I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
