haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
