Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
