when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize