Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize