who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just found puke in my bra..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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