The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This is classic penis vs brain.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
