So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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