ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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