My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
