Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
