it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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