More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
