Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
