She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
