According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
