I met the friendliest cop last night
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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