I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
