We won't sleep together?
this boner is exhausting
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
