mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
