I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
