wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
