he shaved USA in his pubs
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
