She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
