I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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