I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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