Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
