i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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