HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
