Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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