That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
