Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just pee around me
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
