I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
