I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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