I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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