i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
