im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
