He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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