Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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