haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just want to make out with him forever
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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