whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize