I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
