i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize