Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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