I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
