Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm sobbing to NWA
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
