Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
