in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
