i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize