Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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