He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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