I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sorry about my life...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
