New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
