Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up under a house in Key West
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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