: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
