We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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